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Dear @CAgovernorListen up you wanna-be president…You’re about to get Chernobyl’d. Half of this is about you chasing Trump’s shadow like a desperate groupie.The other half is your 2028 campaign getting skull-fcked by reality.You’re out here in 2025 acting like you can…
Dear
Listen up you wanna-be president… You’re about to get Chernobyl’d. Half of this is about you chasing Trumpβs shadow like a desperate groupie. The other half is your 2028 campaign getting skull-fcked by reality. Youβre out here in 2025 acting like you can steal the spotlight from Donald J. Trump, the man whose every tweet hits like a fckihg meteor. Youβre not a rival bro. Youβre fanboy with a restraining order just waiting to happen.
Your obsession with Trump is so creepy it makes stalkers look like theyβre just dropping by for coffee. Every time you speak his name you do so to bring attention to yours. It’s so cringey and pathetic that it literally makes me say the word “ew” out loud. Every time you open that Botox-stiffened mouth, itβs βTrumpβs bad, Trumpβs evil”. Heβs out there commanding arenas while youβre posing for selfies in a state that smells like a landfillβs asshole.
And California? Holy shit Gav. San Franciscoβs streets are so caked in crap and needles youβd think itβs hosting the Shit Olympics. Homeless camps are bigger than most suburbs, and the only thing growing faster than the drug trade is your ego. Your whole vibe is a pathetic attempt to out-Trump Trump, and itβs like watching a chihuahua try to out-bark a fcking lion. President Trump could sell ice to penguins, while your speeches sound like a yoga instructor reading from a self-help book.
Does the name “bitch ass” ring a bell? That’s you. Youβre so desperate to be the anti-Trump youβve forgotten how to do the job you were elected to do. Every X post, every press conference, every fcking breath you take is about him. Trump is living in your head like itβs a penthouse suite, and itβs fcking glorious to watch you unravel. And that brings me to your doomed 2028 Presidential run against J-Dizzle.
Fast forward to 2028, Gavin, and youβre still chasing that White House pipe dream like a dog humping a lamppost. Youβre gearing up to face JD Vance, Trumpβs heir apparent, and let me tell you, youβre gonna get your ass obliterated so hard theyβll name a crater after you. Vance is a gladiator bro. He is as sharp as a switchblade, real as a Rust Belt bar fight, and carrying Trumpβs MAGA torch like itβs the Olympic flame. You? You probably have meetings in saunas and wear socks up to your knee. Do you wear garters too?
Youβre just a prissy little bitch boy with a state that looks like a zombie apocalypse fcked a landfill. I’m sorry, I meant JoJoFromJerz. Vance will shred you like a pitbull with a chew toy, because heβs got the heart of America and youβve got the soul of a corporate retreat. Voters will see right through your bullshit, because youβre not fooling anyone with that plastic smile. He will point right at your state and say, βThatβs what this fcker does,β and the crowd will lose their minds.
Youβre not just gonna lose, Gavin. Youβre gonna get humiliated. Stop dreaming of the White House. Youβre not Trump. Youβll never be Vance. Youβre just Gavin Newsom, the dipshit who fcked California and thought he could bullshit America. Eat shit. San Francisco has plenty.
In freedom, Mr. Star-Spangled MAGA